My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You dont lie about slip and slides
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
