That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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