She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
