And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
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My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
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You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I got inside last night via doggy door
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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