Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
This baby is an asshole
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
