new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
