He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
