Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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