Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
