It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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