they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
