Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
