it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
