just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
