ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Randomize
