bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
