if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
