connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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