I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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