i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize