i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
can u get pink eye on your cock?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
