i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
