I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
