I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
