you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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