oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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