none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
