i think i have herpe
just one?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize