It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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