I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I understand Curling. That high.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
