if i can run in heels then i can drive
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
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