When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
