Me. At least after what I've been through.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
