I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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