So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
