In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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