at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
