You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
