I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
