Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
You don't make any sense
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