there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
