i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
