look no pants
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize