Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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