just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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