i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
ugly people sure do ruin things
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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