he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize