how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
