RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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