I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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