just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
