So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
