I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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