Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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