Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize