why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Come on in and take your pants off
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