Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
